What's Up - June 2013
Love Story Number Two (Handshakes Are Alive and Well)
By Larry Shapiro
A few weeks ago I started a telephone relationship with a soybean and corn farmer “back home” in Kansas. No! Seriously, I really did. That was a record breaker, then, for distance; we’ve since had these same conversations and hand shakes from as far away as Austria, Afghanistan (for the second time) and we just added Russia.
By the way, we also just completed another handshake deal way out in Missouri on an airplane we’ve never seen and it was another homerun…have faith, my friends, have faith.
Birds of a Feather
(Larry Shapiro)For those of us who actually walk around when we do a “walk around” during the ceremony called a “pre-flight inspection,” we’ve been told that during certain times of the year we should be aware of pieces of grass or straw, and other non-descript items, in or around our cowl openings. I can honestly say I’ve done it once or twice and have never hit pay dirt until last week when I took a closer look under the bonnet and low and behold…Yep! There it was, or maybe I should say, here it is.
Another Jewel
I am often asked if I get paid for writing this column. The answer is yes, and way too much. I’m not paid in dollars, I’m paid with something more valuable than that. I get compensated with trust, respect (sometimes not earned or deserved), and relationships I can’t put in the bank, but instead are kept safely in my heart and memory. If I had a radio program I could share with you some of the most incredible conversations with folks from our community that call me, visit me, send me notes, and because of their fear of the FaFa folks, some times I don’t even know their names because they are afraid to tell me. They think the FaFa folks have my office wired.
If I had to put a dollar value on these exchanges, then I’d have to declare to the IRS that I make a million bucks a month in cash and tears. I will admit that, for the first time in my career, my “kids” * are showing up with checkbooks in hand with the offer to pay for my time. Hmmm – interesting – and their reason? They openly admit when making their appointments to see me that they are not prospects for buying an airplane, but instead coming to me for help with either getting their tickets, or more importantly, keeping them.
*Larry’s Kids’ average age is 52.
When you read this I will have added another jewel to my treasure chest of amazing people who have graced me with their presence. I especially loved the one that flashed his 1955-issued ticket that showed he was qualified in light twins – B-25s. I hope by now you’re getting the picture. He came to tell me he wanted to “jump” back into flying since it had been awhile – 40 years. I guess that qualifies as “awhile.” As for his age, which of course I did ask, he proudly informed me that he was just close to 21 … for the fourth time. Want to know more about this bomber jock? Ask me privately.
While I’m at it, here’s another gem, it goes like this: About 20 years ago I got a big mukety-muck hotelier dude hooked on learning to fly. Ably assisted by my brother-in-law, we got him off and flying in an appropriate Piper Warrior. Then, after a hand full of hours, bigger bucks called and off he went to another country, then another state, and in between got married. Next thing you know, it’s 20 years later and the phone rings.
I was informed he’s heading back to California, but more importantly, he wanted me to know he had soloed and kept his promise to keep flying. Well!!! Ya could-ah knocked me over with a featha.’ I was so excited I started babbling in French. No, I don’t speak French, but he does so I winged it. I only mention this because he too is over “ 21” at least three times.
Manners!
(Larry Shapiro)As I continue to keep manners from becoming extinct, I couldn’t help but notice this sign in this airplane window, it was one I had never seen before and certainly lacked manners. When you read it, don’t you feel like you were just warned to stay away or you’ll be sent to your room? Does anyone have a thought about this? I’m very curious and couldn’t find anyone to explain it to me. No, you wise guys, I know what it says and means, I’ve just never seen a sign like this before.
I’m Just Saying …
If you have been paying attention to the recent past issues of In Flight, I’ve made no secret that I am beginning the battle again with those lovely people in Oklahoma City who don’t work for Welcome Wagon, but more like the Adios Wagon. They will shortly focus their peepers on my file containing my recent FAA medical examination …and they won’t walk, they will run to their form letter room to quickly send me one of their “ oops letters” informing me that I am grounded again while they review my just-submitted medical docs via Med Express and my dedicated FAA doctor.
They will make the same mistake that way too many non-medical folks make in thinking that “ cancer” is a sentence. Well, heads up paper pushers, cancer is not a sentence, it’s a word. Pathetically, I have no less than six medical experts in their prospective fields that have put their names on letters that state clearly that there is no reason I shouldn’t be able to continue to fly, and that I am getting the best treatment available in my entire time zone, and while I’m able to dress myself and drive myself to the airport, they should allow me to make the decision whether or not it’s a flying day for me. I might mention that I am taking no medication, but I am getting an injection every three months. By the way, it’s a repeatedly agreed-to fact that most men die with Prostate Cancer – remember this – they die with it, not from it.
Don’t get me started again on the driver’s license medicals. I might start getting hate mail from the MEs that make a hangar full of cash issuing those student licenses and raising their rates for the rest of you. How would they explain their drop in revenue to those who help them spend that money?
If I sound bitter then I sound the way I feel. I feel like I’m drowning in FAA regulations and forms. I’ll admit I’m still laughing about the two-dollar charge for the new plastic license that must cost the government at least $25 to process, plus the stamp of course, to send us what they could send for free and save some of your tax dollars.
I’m still smoking over the registration of your airplanes every three years. I wonder who got the “brownie badge” for that one.
On Final
And finally – oh no – it’s graduation time again, and that means more loud, rowdy expensive parties that I won’t be invited to, but congratulations to all of you for your hard work! Anyone want to buy a small aviation business?
And now a word about “ us.” Happy Father’s Day to “us” – I mean, some of “ us.” Remind me again why this is such a joy and why we’re so lucky? I keep forgetting.
By the time you read this I will have completed 10 days of drowning worms on beautiful Clearlake up in Lakeport, Calif., the land of the sinking houses. (You’ll have to ask if you don’t know what that means). The reason I was up there was that my wife said, “Let’s do something different for our anniversary.” I thought a town that had houses sinking into the ground was different… she has been considering calling a lawyer.
Until next time…
That’s Thirty!
“ Over”
About the writer: Larry Shapiro is an aircraft broker, aviation humorist and fulltime grandfather of three. He’d love to have you share your thoughts and ideas for future articles. Palo Alto Airport Office: 650-424-1801 or Larry@ LarryShapiro.com
