What's Up - February 2013
Off to a Great Start with a Sale on Day One of 2013
By Larry Shapiro
As many stories often begin: It was a dark and stormy night (day) – and this time it actually was. My BFFL and I thought we should pay a token visit to our office and pretend we are actually business owners with a token amount of responsibility even on New Year’s Day. You may quote me on this, but I’d rather you don’t. We assumed we’d be the only ones there and we weren’t very wrong. Our home base could best be described as, “cold and alone.”
We of course turned on the lights, cranked up the heat, put water down for our dogs (I never leave home with out them or my AMEX Card), and opened my email. Here goes, (I’m clearing my throat), the first and only messages read, “I’ve got money now, if you still have that airplane, I want to do a deal today!” We did and we did!
2013 started off the way we wish every day would. The airplane was delivered and four people were very happy: the new owner and future pilot, the friend that referred the buyer to us, my wife for all the “wifey reasons,” and of course me. Life was good!
Paper or Plastic
Here we go again! So as many of you know I finally wore the FAA down enough to get my ticket back. All was well for about 72 hours when I heard from them again and then the fun started all over again.
I don’t want to quote them word for word as my lips are chapped and I don’t want to start laughing. It seems according to them (The FAA), that I’m still sitting on a paper pilot’s license…DUH! Of course I am, and Wilbur and Orville were happy to have signed it for me. To continue without my lips hurting, I was informed that I was grounded again, once again, until I get one of them new plastic thinga majigger ones. I was heard to say (by my neighbors within a two mile radius), “what?”
My wife grabbed my portable oxy tank, slapped the mask on me then encouraged me to relax and breath slowly. She then told me that it’s a very simple process to get the new and improved license. Please don’t ask me why it’s improved, I didn’t go faster or get better GPH numbers. Here comes the better part, and please pay attention so you can have a good reason to scratch your head as I did.
And I quote…you just go online, and when you get to the right spot or link you simply fill out the forms. Of course there is a charge of $2. Let me go over that: You spend at least $10 worth of your time, creating an expense for our government of at least $25, for a piece of plastic that’s worth .02 cents, and probably cost the FAA $5.
My final thought (for now) on this; why couldn’t the FAA just automatically send us all a new one and save the processing fees and time? They would have gotten the same results (I think). By the way, we went through the ”plastic” exercise and I could hardly believe that I actually received my new and improved ticket within one week. Do I look any different now?
Quick, Call Larry …
Another dumb airplane thing just happened at my local airport. When that happens my phones start ringing. The calls I get are almost always short and begin with, “Oh good, it wasn’t you.” No, it wasn’t me and I don’t run off of runways and end up in the water (I learned how to execute go-arounds many years ago). As to gear-up landings, I only blame the pilots that forget about the little handle that clearly says “gear” on it. If they don’t put it in the down position that’s not my fault either. I hardly think it’s newsworthy, unless it was a rooftop landing at a shopping mall with a food court, near the airport, then I might be interested. However, I do give a pass to the pilot that pushed the little gear thing down and it ignored him.
WOW…it’s just what
I wanted…PS
As I mentioned last month I am breaking in a new headset. The name, company and type you can find in my column from last month. While in our local pilot’s shop I noticed they were offering a choice of gifts with new orders (of headsets?). One of the gifts caught my eye – actually both eyes. It was a pair of eyeglasses. I wanted to be the first one on my block to get a pair, but by the time I contacted the company whose name is in my January column, the special was over. I am still in a prone position begging for a pair, but it seems they’re wearing their “Zs” and can’t hear me. When I asked the cost, I found that they were more expensive than some of the competitor’s headsets. But – and I use that word carefully – they might be worth it. I hope by the time* you’ve read this I will be wearing a pair and that I will look so slick you won’t recognize me. (*Zulu Time)
How to Cancel a Flight Plan
You Never Opened
I love flashing lights, except when they’re on the roof of a black and white vehicle behind me, or a white pickup truck called Airport One. In this saga the fore mentioned truck came screaming up to my airplane and informed us that we hadn’t cancelled our flight plan on our return trip from SoCal. As Balki might have said, “Don’t be ridicilous.” First of all, we never filed a flight plan, and when we contacted the authorities, they couldn’t explain why they contacted us to slap our hands. FAA Dudes zero, nice guys one! (Or is that Won?)
I’m Just Saying
Not much is harder than pressing folks to pick an airplane they actually need and not just want. It’s occasionally difficult to get buyers to plug in their common sense and make better decisions. However, there is another scenario that is much harder and – for now – I’m only going to give you a small taste of what that is. I am referring to that moment when you must ask a very passionate and long-time pilot to hang up his keys and reassess how he will fly. It doesn’t mean quitting, it means changing.
I will go into this in more depth next month. It’s one of the more important, and sometimes urgent, subjects I need to address. I’m just saying …
Biscuits & Gravy PS
In Flight got me some goodies… yep! After the wonderful experience I shared with you about Chino’s wonderful Flo’s establishment of fine yummies, I received a take-out bag filled with some “heart-attack” cinnamon rolls with a love note inside. My suggestion for you is to pop in on a cool day, order coffee, and dunk some cinnamon rolls in the coffee and repeat after me: Lord, forgive me for I’m about to sin, now mind your own business and let me dunk!
On Final
How can it already be February? I’ve barely recovered from holidays and now it’s time for more chocolate and hugs. I guess it could be worse but either way, it’s a time for love and a time to continue working towards getting our troops home. Even with the announcement that “women” are now going into battle along side our men. In my mind they have always been there, and for them I send another “salute!” Please keep all our warriors in your prayers, and be sure that when you meet those wearing their uniforms you thank them for their service to our country. Now go buy your Valentine a card.
Until next time …
That’s Thirty!
“Over”
